Report - Doing the Wiltshire Mines Badly - Summer 2014

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Bertie Bollockbrains

28DL Regular User
Regular User
Sep 1, 2014
I haven't been out much recently, mainly due to increased work hours in a new role, so I thought I would completely destroy any reputation I may have in here with a delve into the archives with my first ever explore.

It was the summer of 2014 and the Bollockbrains family had just moved from London to Wiltshire. In those days I had no idea what urban exploring was but on moving to Wiltshire we soon became aware of lots of underground things in the area. Except that we had no experience of underground exploration and lacked any equipment needed. Fortunately eBay was at hand and we bought a whole load of Made in China headtorches. I think they were about £1.50 each. Wifey was concerned that we would get all muddy in those mines. She had just had a new washing machine you see and wanted to keep it looking fresh. Fortunately we were decorating the new house at the time and we had plenty of those cheap disposable decorator coveralls around. It wasn't my idea, I think it was the wife who came up with this. Blame her for what you are about to see...

I'm not sure whose idea it was to write our names on them. I blame the kids for that one.

So looking like the Teletubbies, we made for Box Mine...

And we made it to the Cathedral on that first visit. A journey that took about six hours.

In those days, I did not know how to take photos. Point and shoot and use a flash was all I knew.


And we left Box Mine as seen in a photo which looks like a breakout from Tellytubbyland

Next it was the turn of Swan Mine to suffer from the misfortune of a visit from us

And now for the worst photo of the Swan Mine Crane you will ever see

And time to leave that mine

Finally Brown's Quarry. We found the usual sites...Pit Prop Chamber

The Square Well

And Clapham Junction. I can only assume that this is the scene that sent Brian off the rails

Next the Teletubbies made it to the Devil's Chamber

In those days, mine exploration for us meant one minute of walking followed by 30 minutes of staring at the survey wondering where the hell we are. Repeated ad nauseam for many hours. Notice how bored the kids are...

Thirty minutes later and nobody has moved

While the wife is staring at the survey, that allowed me time to flash away with the cheap camera

Yes I agree with whatever it is you are thinking. Yes this report is just too dreadful to continue. Be assured that I am booking myself into that Dignitas clinic in Switzerland as I speak and will be shortly removing myself from the gene pool.

I hang my head in shame.
Last edited:

The Kwan

Easily Led
Regular User
Mar 28, 2011
Glad to hear that you have a new role :thumb, the kids may look bored but at least they aint looking at a screen which is always a good thing..teletubbies :D looks like a great day underground.


28DL Full Member
28DL Full Member
Aug 8, 2017
I enjoyed reading your report very much, thank you. Wish I could drag my family on some urbex adventures!

Oxygen Thief

Staff member
Oct 17, 2005
Nothing wrong with any of that IMO. I think we've all seen people equipped far worse. The paper suit isn't a bad idea really, breathable and keeps the mud off. Saves the plod giving up one of theirs as well


28DL Regular User
Regular User
Dec 1, 2013
Hahaha that's funny as fuck :D Good to see people having a laugh at themselves. I for one, would love to bump into the teletubbies on an explore. Also, I'm sure far far worse photos have been taken of that crane! Enjoyed this :thumb
Likes: TranKmasT


28DL Regular User
Regular User
Jul 17, 2016
I enjoyed reading that over mate, nothing like the first explore, dressed like a teletubby or not lol.
Likes: The_Raw


28DL Full Member
28DL Full Member
Feb 8, 2017
Still better than my pictures buddy!

Am I correct in thinking these are the mines that have been covered over recently?


28DL Full Member
28DL Full Member
Feb 1, 2012
If you are short of bad photos of that area, I am happy to supply a few! I was expecting at least, someone getting lost with a call to the Wiltshire conplodulary resulting in the call out of helicopters (yes it has been done for an underground incident - you can see so much more up there!)

Bertie Bollockbrains

28DL Regular User
Regular User
Sep 1, 2014
Am I correct in thinking these are the mines that have been covered over recently?
Swan Mine has always remained open. As for the others, sometimes they are and sometimes they're not. The situation is dynamic and constantly changes. It's a case of just going regardless and see what's doable.

If you are short of bad photos of that area, I am happy to supply a few!
Oh go on then, let's have a look. We won't laugh too much.:cool:

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