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Information - J. D. Wetherspoons - letter of complaint. - for the glory of God

Styru

Admin
Staff member
Admin
#1
Styru Towers
Upper Twattington
Somersetsnoozeoshire
29/09/15
Dear Wetherspoons,

I find myself compelled to write to complain about a recent trip to one of your fine establishments undertaken by myself, and other members of our little '28dayslater Bible Study Class'

We chose your fine hostelry for its reputation for quietness, refinement, and quality.

Indeed, we marveled at the wonderful architecture and decor, I confess that I could hardly bring myself not to stare at the gorgeous neo-classical dome.

bj1.jpg


At one particularly rousing, passion-filled, and deeply meaningful moment within our Bible reading I implored my fellow worshippers to turn their gaze skyward to see the Good Lords glory.

Sadly, however, all we saw were Mr @Bigjobs grinning face, Satanic buttocks, and what I (as a celibate follower of our Lord, who always undresses in the dark, and wears gloves for fear of touching himself) can only presume were his twin 'sinner-spheres' and 'trouser-snake'!

bj2.jpg


bj3.jpg


Since this traumatic event I have been unable to wipe this ungodly vision from my mind, little Sarah can only sleep with the lights on, and I gather young Lora has developed a nervous twitch.

I find this a wholly unacceptable situation, and look forward to a refund on my all day brunch, and non-alcoholic Chardonnay!

Yours in God, Mr S.Tryu
 
Last edited:

The Stig

Urbex = Nosey Bastard
Regular User
#7
Have you had a reply back yet??? :D
 

Bigjobs

Official Smartarse
Regular User
#8
Been waiting for these, love it :D
 

Paradox

28DL Regular User
Regular User
#9
Hahahahahahaha that is just excellent! Proper made me giggle! :D
 

lets go explorin

28DL Full Member
28DL Full Member
#10
Styru Towers
Upper Twattington
Somersetsnoozeoshire
29/09/15
Dear Wetherspoons,

I find myself compelled to write to complain about a recent trip to one of your fine establishments undertaken by myself, and other members of our little '28dayslater Bible Study Class'

We chose your fine hostelry for its reputation for quietness, refinement, and quality.

Indeed, we marveled at the wonderful architecture and decor, I confess that I could hardly bring myself not to stare at the gorgeous neo-classical dome.

View attachment 9756

At one particularly rousing, passion-filled, and deeply meaningful moment within our Bible reading I implored my fellow worshippers to turn their gaze skyward to see the Good Lords glory.

Sadly, however, all we saw were Mr @Bigjobs grinning face, Satanic buttocks, and what I (as a celibate follower of our Lord, who always undresses in the dark, and wears gloves for fear of touching himself) can only presume were his twin 'sinner-spheres' and 'trouser-snake'!

View attachment 9760

View attachment 9762

Since this traumatic event I have been unable to wipe this ungodly vision from my mind, little Sarah can only sleep with the lights on, and I gather young Laura has developed a nervous twitch.

I find this a wholly unacceptable situation, and look forward to a refund on my all day brunch, and non-alcoholic Chardonnay!

Yours in God, Mr S.Tryu
this cannot be serious
ahahahahahaa
 

Oxygen Thief

Admin
Staff member
Admin
#13
There's only one thing wrong with this, and that is that it should have been a class action.
 
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