Tanks A Lot
15.30 hrs Sunday the 4th of March ... year of our Lord two thousand eighteen...
In a hidden valley on a secret base in a secret county lies Lulworth tank range.
Whilst most of you were in church last Sunday ,I decided to give the weekly sing song too baby Jesus a miss and go on an Wander
The Parking at the abandoned village of Tyneham means easy access to wander around the village ,and thus enabling you to take the range walk towards Lulworth Cove.
The Range is a live fire range which is open too the public at the weekends from 9am to 5pm ...Because it’s a live fire range tin helmets are available to buy at the gift shop in Tyneham for those with large or oddly shaped melons.
Lying scattered about the range are large amounts of discarded military ordnance which should be picked up if spotted and stored in your rucksack or Handbag...”How can we tell if it’s live”....I hear you say ... I was always taught to ...Lick the tip... same as you would a battery.
I know it’s a pain to drag around extra weight on your walk...but a thought must be given to the indigenous wildlife and roaming livestock from becoming instant soup ...Remember the saying ... Don’t get Blown ...But take it Home .
Worried about the kids arguing in the backseat over who’s projectile is who’s on the journey home.....then the found items can be placed in the large green plastic bins marked Mortar and Projectile recycling located in the car park next to the two large craters.
Wheelchairs and pushchairs are permitted on the range ..... I always found the easiest way to cross barbwire fencing with a wheeled friend is to
A/.Lay the wheelchair/pushchair occupant on the floor
B/.Fold wheelchair/pushchair
C/.Throw wheelchair/pushchair over barbwire
D/.Thread your disabled/young companion under the fence
Hence easily enabling you to carry on your journey.
The range is very large but pretty much all of it can be surveyed from one of the many hilltops,but the journey through the range can be long and arduous if you are a smoker like myself or have consumed copious amounts of doughnuts but luckily enough traveling throughout the range on an anticlockwise route picking up rubbish and returning lost children to their parents are the two range wardens ... driving white Ford Rangers
Attention of the wardens can be gained by shouting and waving your arms in the air vigorously,these guy will be more than happy too give you a tour of the range and drop you off at any of the military’s many rusting metal behemoths to climb upon and take the obligatory photo of you astride the cannon barrel whilst humming loudly The Ride of the Valkyries,gyrating your hips in a provocative manner causing the nearby mothers to cover the eyes of their young children,and if your really lucky and the warden is in a good mood as they are the key holders too these vehicles you may just get a chance too track one about for a bit ... but it’s advised to avoid picnic areas and livestock.
Am not really up on which tank is which of the ones we photographed but am pretty sure some boffin will be able too tell me ... yes that’s a Chieftain yes that’s a Challenger2 ... yes that’s a cattle water trough.
Anyways tanks for looking and reading this ... stay safe you crazy kids.
15.30 hrs Sunday the 4th of March ... year of our Lord two thousand eighteen...
In a hidden valley on a secret base in a secret county lies Lulworth tank range.
Whilst most of you were in church last Sunday ,I decided to give the weekly sing song too baby Jesus a miss and go on an Wander
The Parking at the abandoned village of Tyneham means easy access to wander around the village ,and thus enabling you to take the range walk towards Lulworth Cove.
The Range is a live fire range which is open too the public at the weekends from 9am to 5pm ...Because it’s a live fire range tin helmets are available to buy at the gift shop in Tyneham for those with large or oddly shaped melons.
Lying scattered about the range are large amounts of discarded military ordnance which should be picked up if spotted and stored in your rucksack or Handbag...”How can we tell if it’s live”....I hear you say ... I was always taught to ...Lick the tip... same as you would a battery.
I know it’s a pain to drag around extra weight on your walk...but a thought must be given to the indigenous wildlife and roaming livestock from becoming instant soup ...Remember the saying ... Don’t get Blown ...But take it Home .
Worried about the kids arguing in the backseat over who’s projectile is who’s on the journey home.....then the found items can be placed in the large green plastic bins marked Mortar and Projectile recycling located in the car park next to the two large craters.
Wheelchairs and pushchairs are permitted on the range ..... I always found the easiest way to cross barbwire fencing with a wheeled friend is to
A/.Lay the wheelchair/pushchair occupant on the floor
B/.Fold wheelchair/pushchair
C/.Throw wheelchair/pushchair over barbwire
D/.Thread your disabled/young companion under the fence
Hence easily enabling you to carry on your journey.
The range is very large but pretty much all of it can be surveyed from one of the many hilltops,but the journey through the range can be long and arduous if you are a smoker like myself or have consumed copious amounts of doughnuts but luckily enough traveling throughout the range on an anticlockwise route picking up rubbish and returning lost children to their parents are the two range wardens ... driving white Ford Rangers
Attention of the wardens can be gained by shouting and waving your arms in the air vigorously,these guy will be more than happy too give you a tour of the range and drop you off at any of the military’s many rusting metal behemoths to climb upon and take the obligatory photo of you astride the cannon barrel whilst humming loudly The Ride of the Valkyries,gyrating your hips in a provocative manner causing the nearby mothers to cover the eyes of their young children,and if your really lucky and the warden is in a good mood as they are the key holders too these vehicles you may just get a chance too track one about for a bit ... but it’s advised to avoid picnic areas and livestock.
Am not really up on which tank is which of the ones we photographed but am pretty sure some boffin will be able too tell me ... yes that’s a Chieftain yes that’s a Challenger2 ... yes that’s a cattle water trough.
Anyways tanks for looking and reading this ... stay safe you crazy kids.
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