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Report - "Witley Wonder" Wander by Wet Westcountry Weirdos - a Weport August 2010



Styru

Admin
Staff member
Admin
#1

danger.gif

This report may contain mankinis​
Readers of a nervous disposition should power down
their PC now, unplug it, cut the plug off, and hide
their PC in any convenient slurry pit to avoid the
risk of eye-slippage.​





You have been warned




Time to go watch Jeremy Kyle, make a cup of tea, cut the grass, or something.




Step away from the monitor!




For Gods sake - save yourself!!!




Still here? - well don't say I didn't warn you :rolleyes:







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So, er, anyway most of us know about the Witley Wonder.

This underwater folly is a masterpiece of Victorian Engineering, and was conceived as an object of fun for the owners of the Witley Park Estate in Surrey.

Variously described as a ballroom, a billiard room, etc. it is glaringly obvious that its primary function can have been nothing other than as the evil lair of a Bond Baddy - indeed the glass panels can clearly be seen in this archive shot:


ErnstStavroBlofeld.jpg


Consisting of a magnificent glass paneled dome it sits below the waters of Witley Parks lake, the very peak of it's dome providing a stand for the statue seen in later shots...

Widely explored at one time, this all changed a year or two back:


Over the weekend I visited witley unfortunately for me the entrance to the tunnels leading to the ballroom is alarmed (we set it off)
I just heard that Witley Wonder is sealed and flooded?

.... after this the trail went cold.

So, the land based option was no longer open to us - what to do??

After much deliberation, planning, research etc. (< some aspects of that may not be true) it was decided that a waterborne invasion was the way to go.

So we assembled a crack team of swimmers:



swimmers.jpg



L to R Urbanity, Spungletrumpet, Styru, and former 28DL member Smalls

(picture posed by actors - actual swimmers may vary from illustration)



Now the dome itself only sits a short distance from the shore - but an assault this way would have meant working in full view of the house.

Instead, we studied the map, and chose the best route from the far shore to the man-made island/pump house that we hoped would provide access.

Entering the water in total darkness and without the aid of torches (too overlooked by the house) we struck out - without even being able to see the island.

The nights silence was ruined by the ducks, swans, etc we disturbed - not to mention the resident pikeys jumping out of the water all around us.

Using dead reckoning, and well honed navigational skills we headed directly to the island (see below)

lakegif.gif


Once safely on the island success or failure hinged on:


a) The gateway at the base of the stairs being unlocked.

b) there being no alarms when approaching from this direction.

Employing my best ninja stealth skills (also know as being as about as subtle as a bull in a china shop) I tip-toed down the stairs, looking for PIR's (although I guess they would have seen me first) and saying a prayer to Saint Yale (patron saint of unlocked doors)

Success, we were in, avoiding upsetting any alarms at the shore side of the tunnels we enjoyed a nice little wander, and so on with some pictures:

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(final warning - Spungletrumpet can be clearly seen donning his mankini in the back of the above pic - procede past here and well .... it's your sanity...)

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(Smalls dressed only in his smalls)

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.
 
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Styru

Admin
Staff member
Admin
#2
Re: Witley Wonder Wander by Wet Westcountry Weirdos - a Weport Waugust 2010

And a last couple of pics from 'up-top'

DSC_0564.jpg


DSC_0562.jpg


This statue stands atop the dome

Thanks for the company guys - look forward to your pics.​
 
Last edited:

Kitty

Home-breaking baker
28DL Full Member
#4
Re: "Witley Wonder" Wander by Wet Westcountry Weirdos - a Weport Waugust 2010

Possibly the most disturbing images I've ever seen.

Well done lads!!
 

siologen

I Go Where The Drains Are
Regular User
#5
Re: "Witley Wonder" Wander by Wet Westcountry Weirdos - a Weport Waugust 2010

Fuckin hell. There's not been a report on this in nearly 2 years. Is it still full of DYI alarm gear. I threw a battery powered PIR and alarm into the lake in 2006... :S
 

urbanity

28dl flâneur
Regular User
#6
Re: "Witley Wonder" Wander by Wet Westcountry Weirdos - a Weport Waugust 2010

Japes!!!

Thanks to our team archivist for another great report. The map is fairly accurate, it was a very random swim, taking in the wrong island and a good view of the boat house. When your eyes are at lake level it's pretty hard to get your bearings.
We'd recced this trip as a boating expedition back when the lake was freezing cold, but one of the boats was punctured during the Camden Cata cruise earlier in the day, and standing by the lake on a winter's night we found ourselves lacking in motivation for swimming.
Now that it's a private house, rather than a faceless business, it's better to adopt stealthy approaches around the back of the lake. If caught, we were going with the cover story that we were a club that go around cleaning follies at no charge to the owner. :)
 
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REEF

Getthegirlkillthebaddies
28DL Full Member
#7
Re: "Witley Wonder" Wander by Wet Westcountry Weirdos - a Weport Waugust 2010

Fantastic, nice one guys :)
 

professor frink

Reppin Bumbaclaat
28DL Full Member
#8
Re: "Witley Wonder" Wander by Wet Westcountry Weirdos - a Weport Waugust 2010

Nice one, The write up's funny as f00k.

After seeing the mankini shot my breakfast doesn't seem so appealing now.
 

diehardlove

1 of them cnuts off 28dsl
Regular User
#10
Re: "Witley Wonder" Wander by Wet Westcountry Weirdos - a Weport Waugust 2010

nice report,That mankini really does scare me,
 

Styru

Admin
Staff member
Admin
#13
Re: "Witley Wonder" Wander by Wet Westcountry Weirdos - a Weport Waugust 2010

If caught, we were going with the cover story that we were a club that go around cleaning follies at no charge to the owner. :)
We had also practiced a 'Barbers Shop quartet' singing routine for if spotted - in the hope that the land owner wouldn't fire on us if we were in full musical flow :p


It was a real 'urbgasm' of a visit!
.
 

vwdirtboy

Keeuunnntt!
28DL Full Member
#15
Re: "Witley Wonder" Wander by Wet Westcountry Weirdos - a Weport Waugust 2010

The soggy bottom boys strike again.. spungle, you need to don that mankini on sat in browns!
 

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